


Emotional Pain

by Angelicat2



Series: Yin and Yang [4]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst, Blood and Injury, Hurt Keith (Voltron), Hurt/Comfort, Keith (Voltron) is Bad at Feelings, Keith can't feel pain, Self-Destruction, Shiro (Voltron) is Missing, Team as Family, grieving Keith, that should be a tag
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-12
Updated: 2019-05-12
Packaged: 2020-03-01 08:06:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,941
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18796336
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Angelicat2/pseuds/Angelicat2
Summary: Shiro goes missing, and Keith cracks. Good thing the team is there to help him come back to his senses.





	Emotional Pain

**Author's Note:**

> Not gonna lie, guys, I cried while writing it...hope you do too.

It wasn’t fair!

Keith froze as he took in the empty seat.

Shiro promised.

_“I’m always here for you, Keith,” Shiro replied before resting his chin on Keith’s hair, “And I always will be.”_

But he wasn’t! He wasn’t there! He was gone again! This was just like Kerberos, only instead of someone telling him that Shiro was never coming back, he saw it for himself. The seat of the Black Lion was empty, and Shiro’s bayard was in the holder, but the man himself was gone. He couldn’t...Shiro was gone again.

Keith had to find him, no matter what it took, as many times as it took. He was going to bring him home. He had to.

He raced out of there. They screamed his name behind him, but he didn’t stop to listen as he threw himself into his lion. A sad growl echoed around before the lion’s mind flared like warm fire through him. It took off into space, going back to the area where Shiro was last at. All the ships were gone, broken pieces of debris all around, the sky blood red. Searching for hours, Keith snarled as he continued on.

Shiro had to be alive. He had to be. He said he’d never give up on Keith, and Keith couldn’t give up on him either.

The others already tried calling a dozen times, but he rejected the call every time. Eventually, Red blocked them herself, knowing he needed to focus. Tears burned at his eyes as he searched. He couldn’t lose Shiro again. If he thought he had been attached that first time, the second time was worse. He didn’t just have a crush on the older. No...what he felt couldn’t be brotherly love or brother-in-arms or whatever it would be called. It wasn't even just what friends feel for friends. It was so much more than that, feelings that had been bubbling since the first time Shiro smiled at him from before the sunset, looking so good in his leather jacket. Every moment after that pitfalled into the next, until Keith realized he didn't have a world if Shiro wasn't in it.

His searching revealed nothing as the lion beckoned him back to the castle. Keith himself didn’t steer them back to the place, but soon enough, Red took him back to the hangar. He stumbled out of the lion before standing just off to the side.

He felt numb. And this numb wasn’t the type of numb where you didn’t feel pain. Keith was feeling plenty of pain. He wiped at the tears running down his cheeks before he took off. Down the halls he rushed as he went to the training room. Throwing himself at a bot, he slammed his bayard into it, not feeling it at all when said bot smashed it’s staff on his cheek. He didn’t care. 

Shiro was gone.

He fought on for long enough to lose himself in the systems of the fighting. It did nothing to help him feel better as he got smacked around. He did more damage to the machines than they did to him, but at this point, he could care less. He had been hit in the chest at least five times, one of what probably broke something. The leg of his pants were ripped in a long vertical line as bruises appeared on his pale skin. The electrical prod had hit him a few times, his muscles not functioning as well as normal. He kept going.

Shiro was gone again.

“Deactivate training,” someone called out and Keith almost span around to snap his bayard at them angrily, “Keith! Woah, man! Stop! You’re gonna get yourself killed.”

“I don’t care,” he growled as he called the program back on, swiping at the nearest bot. Before the blade could hit it, however, a different person called it off, “Leave me alone.”

“I don’t think that’s what you need right now,” another responded and Keith whirled on them, fire beneath his skin, “Keith, come on. Is this what Shiro would want yo-”

“You don’t know what Shiro would want!” Keith screamed as he heaved shaky breaths out of his chest. It felt like his lungs weren’t working correctly, like it was all too heavy, "You didn't know Shiro like I do! You don't know who he is! You think you know, but you don't! So don't tell me what Shiro would want me to do! Everyone tried that during Kerberos! Iverson tried it, Adam tried it, and everyone else. So just drop it!"

He activated the machines again, but this time, a bright red light filled the room, the simulator locking him from commanding it. Glaring to the side, he saw Allura standing by the control panel, face serious.

“Keith,” she began after a moment as he gripped his unformed bayard in his hand, “We need you to calm down. Please. We’ll get him bac-”

“Don’t say that!” Keith’s mouth was moving without his brain thinking it as he let got of the bayard. It clattered to the floor loudly, but by now, the heartbeats were pounding in Keith’s head as he stepped closer to the Altean who backed up a step, “I’ve lost him once! I can’t go through it again.”

“Keith-”

“No!” He was shaking by now, trying to ignore the hot liquid gathering in his eyes, “You don’t understand! Shiro is the only one who never gave up on me. Don’t make empty promises about things like this. I’ve had enough of that from everyone in my life, I don’t need yours too.”

He whipped around to try calling up the program when a hand grabbed his arm.

“Keith-”

He thrust the person away before rushing out of the room. Down a whole bunch of halls he fled before he finally stopped in front of a doorway. It was his room, so he slipped inside and locked the door. Summoning his blade from his suit, he stared at it.

They took him. Again.

Shiro was gone again!

Before Keith was aware of it, he smashed his fist into something. Like usual, there was no pain following it. He felt nothing. Throwing the blade across the room towards the bathroom, he slammed the other hand into the same spot.

He let them take Shiro again! He told himself that he wouldn’t let them touch Shiro again. And now he was gone, probably taken by the same people who had tortured him in the first place. His fists smacked into the same surface again as he self-destructed, uncaring of how hurt he was becoming. This continued for a long time before someone grabbed both of his arms.

“Keith! Stop!”

Keith heaved out his breaths like he couldn’t breathe at all now. He pushed against the hands holding him. Everything within him cracked deeply just as someone held onto him from the front. Keith continued to fight, thrashing and yanking his arms away from the person. By now, he was sitting on the floor, knee trapped underneath the other leg so he couldn’t move away. He knew he was growing weak, but he kept going.

“It’s okay, Keith.”

But it wasn’t okay. Shiro was gone! How could they be sitting here comforting him when they needed to get the older back! Another pair of arms wrapped around his left side followed by the other side. Someone else spoke, but Keith ignored them as pain slammed into his chest. He dropped his head onto the chest of the person before him, finally letting his emotions take over. Tears flooded from his eyes as he pressed his arms close to his stomach.

“Shhhh,” someone whispered softly as someone else ruffled his hair comfortingly, “You’re not alone.”

Keith wailed as he buried his face into the soft fabric before him. A hand brushed over his back at the same time, making him cry even harder. He missed Shiro and it hadn't even been a whole day since he disappeared. Right? It hadn’t been? How was he going to be okay! Shiro was gone and-

Someone gently grabbed both sides of his head, forcing him to look up. Crystal blue eyes stared back, tears escaping onto dark skin as the Altean spoke softly.

“We are going to find Shiro, Keith,” her thumbs ground him as she sniffled, “We will get him back. But you need to rest first. You can’t find him if you keep injuring yourself.”

“I…” Keith choked out before staring down at his arms. He paled at the sight, having been too lost in his grief to notice the damage he had done. The gloves on his suit were gone, torn to shreds from all those hits. His skin was split open in ways that Keith didn’t think could happen. Blood still dripped from his appendages, smearing all over his pants and chestplate. Looking up, he could see it spread all over Hunk’s front and on Allura’s dress, staining both dark scarlet. On the wall behind them, red was splattered across the wall metal like a blood spree had just occurred, and there was a dent on that spot.

Looking back at his hands, he grimaced as he noticed that none of his fingers were working correctly. One wrist wouldn’t move correctly either, and if he lifted the other just right, he could see bits of bone peeking out from the damaged skin and muscle. It looked like someone put both his hands through a blender, and Keith stared at them as more blood dripped from the broken skin. More tears slid down his cheeks, landing on his wounds and no pain appeared then either.

“I know it hurts,” Pidge began from his left side, staring at him with tear-filled eyes, “I feel the same way every day that my brother and dad are out there wherever they are. But we are going to get them back. Matt, dad, and especially Shiro. He’s our family.”

“Yeah,” Lance spoke up with a small grin as Keith stared at him, “We’re all part of the family, including you, dude. I know I mess with you, and...we could have treated you a bit better after you found out you were Galra-”

“I could have teased you less,” Hunk whispered quietly as he placed his bigger hands on his arms, “We were by your side, but not enough.”

“And I am very sorry for how I reacted,” Allura apologized as she looked down in shame, “I should have looked past my own anger. I know you are a wonderful friend. Someone once told me that you were caring and loyal and that he would never give up on you, and I ignored that. But now, I know why he cared and protected you so much. You may not feel pain, but you feel with all of your heart. And I wish to be part of that. It’ll take some time, but you are my family. We love you, Keith.”

The others joined in with their own agreements, making warmth climb through his body before tears littered his eyes again. They were crying just as much as he was as they held him even tighter. The cracks in his heart were tacked back together, but not whole yet as he sobbed again. He didn’t know how he had the tears to do so. 

“I love him,” Keith buried his head into Allura’s dress, uncaring about the blood that would spread to his face, “I loved him.”

“I know,” she whispered sincerely as her breath tickled his neck, “I know.”

They stayed that way for a long time.


End file.
